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[personal profile] indiana_j
Title: A Brave Front
Rating: PG-13, language
Fandom: Mass Effect (3, in this case)
Subject: Not all requests for help are the same - and some are harder than others.
Notes: Many thanks to Rossi for the quick and awesome turnaround!  Also, spoilers for ME3.

This can also be found on AO3, here.



For all the good it did him, the Alliance had kept the personal cabin that Cerberus had installed.  After all, the helm had more personal touches than his actual room did.  Bed, a desk that would have collected dust if it hadn't been for EDI's cleaning obsession, a shower and a few pictures of his family but nothing else.  This was a place to recharge between missions, nothing more.

Because contrary to all appearances, Jeff 'Joker' Moreau was actually not the only pilot aboard the SSV Normandy, even though he did his best to make it appear that way.  Officially, Katrine McGree served as Junior Helmsman, with two others as their co-pilots but, unofficially, McGree only took the helm when Joker had to rest.

She never seemed to mind that she was on rest more than she was in the chair and the co-pilots never seemed to mind, either, that EDI spent more time helping Joker to fly than they did.  Results more than policy drove their acceptance of the situation and they knew without a doubt that Moreau was one of the best in the business and that had been proven even before the Reapers, before Saren.

But sometimes, when he remembered or was reminded by Shepard or EDI, he had to sleep.  Or eat.  Or, as Garrus pointed out, shower.  So he'd reluctantly call up McGree to man the helm while he returned to his cabin to catch what rest he could.

Joker grimaced as he tossed his baseball cap on the bed.  He hated to admit it but it was beyond time to throw it in the wash.  The missions they'd been diving headfirst into had caused more than enough sweat to run down his face than he cared to admit and the hat was growing ranker than a Krogan after a battle.

Better voluntarily wash it than have someone make the decision for him.  Or incinerate it.

Laundry first, then shower, food and sleep.

Maybe, he thought as he splashed some water on his face, he should shower first just in case some kind of emergency came up.  He'd rather die tired, hungry and in rumpled clothes than go out smelling like ass.

The speaker units in his room hissed to life as EDI's voice filtered through.  "Jeff, you have an incoming transmission from Admiral Anderson."

What the hell?

"Uh, EDI, are you receiving correctly?  Anderson probably needs to speak to the Commander, not me.  Last time I checked, I was the hotshot pilot of the Normandy, not the hotshot savior of the entire universe.  Though I've been told the resemblance is uncanny ..."

"Jeff."  It was amazing how much emotion (in this case, exasperation) EDI could put into one word.  "There was no trouble with reception, mine or otherwise.  Admiral Anderson asked for you specifically.  I thought it wise to patch it through here rather than the Quantum Entanglement Communications room."

The few personal cabins onboard actually had their own private communication channels for getting in touch with family or having a quick call that didn't need to be in a public area.  Joker had never actually used his.  Before the Reaper attack made communication to Tiptree impossible, he had preferred to make calls to his dad and sister while on shore leave.

Mainly because most of his time on board ship was spent at the helm but, also, it meant they ragged on him less about the lack of personal items in his cabin.

He grabbed the nearest towel and dried his face as he headed towards the little desk - the communicator interface was situated on top of it.

"Well, shit, this can't be good," he muttered as he tried to make himself look presentable.  Joker hesitated but snagged his hat to put back on his head - cold with old sweat or not, he'd rather face Anderson with it on than without it.

There was no reason for the Normandy's old captain to get in touch with him privately.  He thought maybe the old man had heard about Tiptree but immediately discarded it.  Anderson cared, deeply, about the men and women who either had served or did serve with him but right now, he was in the middle of a war zone on Earth; taking the time out to call one person to give his regards about a disaster on their home world made no sense.

If he was doing that, he'd be on the damned comm for days.  Years.  And he had more pressing matters to attend to.

No, it had to be something else but the only way Joker would find out would be to answer the call.

"Alright, EDI, patch him through."  Christ, he sounded like a dork.

A moment later and the fuzzy image of Admiral David Anderson flickered into view above Joker's desk.  Immediately, Joker was at attention with as rigid a salute as he could manage.  He might have a record a mile long on file but he knew the chain of command and respected it - most of the time.

Better still, he respected Anderson.

"At ease, Joker."

Joke did so gladly.  His disease made a lot of things uncomfortable and standing at attention was certainly one of them.  "You're looking, uh ... good?  Sir."

A smile graced Anderson's face.  "That bad, huh?  Thanks for trying, though."

"Yeah, well, pretty sure it's in my job description to make my superior officers feel better about themselves."  The joke was a bit flat - in the background, Joker could hear the sounds of a firefight and faint screaming.  Shit.  "I'd ask how it's going but I think I can piece it together myself."

"It's pretty rough out here, that's for sure.  We're losing ground but, still, we're here and we're proving a harder fight than the Reapers probably thought."  He cleared his throat.  "Joker, I need you to do something for me."

"Well, if it involves heavy lifting then maybe I better get Garrus but, anything else, I'm your man."

"We just got the word about Thessia and damned if that wasn't one hell of a blow.  I know Shepard was planet side when it all went down and I know what it does to you, how it messes you up, when you can't prevent something like that.  You and I know she did the best she could but I know she's not going to think that."

Joker thought about the look on the Commander's face when she and the rest of the ground party had come back on board.  When she'd removed her helmet, he'd caught sight of her and for just a moment the look on her face had been ... broken.  An unending tide of grief and guilt before she'd smoothed her features down to a blank sheet of granite.  Which had been even harder to see.

Anderson continued, "Promise me that you'll look after her, son, because god knows she's not going to do that herself."

His brain completely stuttered to a stop at that.  Anderson was asking him, of all people, to look after Shepard?  He barely remembered to look after himself most days.

"Sir, with all due respect," Joker replied, throwing his arms wide, "I think there might be better people.  Like, um ..."  He almost said Garrus but figured that might be TMI for Anderson (it sometimes was TMI for him).  "The doctor?" he finished, weakly, and Anderson gave him a sideways look like that said he thought Joker was a moron.

"Can you seriously find me anyone better on board that ship than you?" Anderson asked and held up a hand.  "Don't.  With the exception of Alenko, you've been with Shepard the longest and I know Alenko's not the best choice.  Not yet.  Maybe not ever.  You've been by her side since day one, Joker, and I know for a fact that she cares and trusts you above a number of others."  An amused smile broke out on his tired face.  "And I also know that you won't back down from her, Joker, not for this."

There was a lot that Joker could do blindfolded - navigate the Normandy, fly her, lose his money in poker to Vega - but this?  He wasn't good with emotions, his or anyone else’s.

It was Joker's turn to clear his throat.  "You do realize I'm going to fuck this up, right?  Say a joke when I shouldn't and end up in a headlock?  Which, by the way, would probably end up breaking my neck."

"Her bark's worse than her bite."

Joker's eyes widened.  "Sir, with all due respect, it's not!  Have you seen that woman shoot?  It's downright terrifying!"

"With her crew it's worse than her bite," Anderson corrected.  "There is no pass or fail on this, Joker.  Just, keep an eye on her for me?  Make sure she's okay."

It wasn't as simple as that.  Shepard had been carrying the weight of the universe on her shoulders for years now and anyone else would have broken ages ago from the strain and pressure.  Which meant that if Shepard finally did start to buckle, the emotional and mental impact on her well-being would be ... Joker did not want to think about it.

If he messed up, said the wrong thing, to his Commander, his friend, when she needed someone the most ... the idea that he could make this worse terrified him.

"Joker, be yourself.  The rest will follow."

An off-side explosion made the picture and connection suddenly warble, meaning that Anderson probably missed Joker's retort of "Myself?  You remember that I'm normally an asshole, right?".  When Anderson's picture cleared back up, it was obviously time to end the call.

"Take care of yourself, sir," Joker said, voice quiet.

"I will and - Jeff?"  His first name caught him by surprise and Joker's eyes widened slightly at Anderson.  "I'm real sorry about Tiptree, son."

And the connection was gone and Joker was left alone.



(no subject)

Date: 2012-05-01 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seraangel.livejournal.com
Oooh. Perfect. :) Joker I will totally admit is one of my all time favourite characters of the ME universe.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-05-03 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] indiana-j.livejournal.com
:D Thank you! Joker's a lot of fun - I'm actually kind of glad they never made him a romance option because I love the friendship between Shepard and Joker.

Next part is pretty much done, it'll be a 3 parter.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-05-04 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seraangel.livejournal.com
My Shepard had fun hooking him up with EDI. That was a lot of fun.

I wouldn't have minded him being an LI, but that's what fanfiction is for, I think in the games themselves what we got was just fine.

I need to finish my ME1 playthrough with my engineer so she can romance Garrus in ME2 & 3. First playthrough with a Biotic was all about the Kaiden for her.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-05-02 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meallanmouse.livejournal.com
I'm enjoying these. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-05-03 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] indiana-j.livejournal.com
Hee, thanks! They're so much fun to write; maybe it's because I'm playing them obsessively but the voices are so clear in my head. It's pretty much writing itself which hasn't happened in a while.

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