Irrepressible Perserverence

Star Trek bit that popped into my head just now.

"Goddamn it, Jim, you're supposed to be the designated flier," Bones snarled, gripping the Captain by the back of his shirt and giving him a good shake.  He used to shake his wife's dog like that when it was bad, too.  And he knew that, just like that, the mental image of Captain Kirk pissing all over his good boots was going to stay in his head for the rest of the night.

Bones gave Kirk another shake just out of pure vengeance.

"Nooooo!" Kirk replied, not even bothering an attempt to loosen the death grip on his shirt.  Instead, he picked up the limp hand of the man next to him and forced it to wave hello at the doctor.  "Sulu is!"

McCoy stared down at the unconscious helmsman with growing horror.  "I hate my life," he sighed, watching Kirk's head bounce off the top of the bar when he finally released him.

A giggle from the floor was his only response.

This actually is just a snippet from a slightly longer piece I'm working on - trying to get Kirk's voice right for the longer bits...

***

"So you're all wondering why I called this meeting, blah blah blah," Kirk intoned, throwing his feet up on the table.

"Oh no, never crossed my mind," Bones responded immediately.  "Between checking to make sure all the repairs to the medical bay were completed, checking to make sure that we had all of our supplies restocked, checking to make sure that weird hobgoblin alien hadn't swiped more of my spray-on-bandages-"

"Hey, now!"  Scotty protested from across the table but Bones just glared at him.

"He's got a problem, likes sticky things.  You might want to keep an eye on that."  He turned back to Kirk.  "But, no.  In between the eighty other billion things I had to do today, I didn't once stop to think why you were calling this meeting of "senior staff".  I figured with your mouth, we'd know soon enough."

Kirk gave Spock a woe begone look.  "Do you see what I have to put up with?"

"Fascinating, Captain."

"My own crew gives me lip and he thinks it's fascinating.  Right, does anyone else have anything smart they'd like to say?  Put your hand down, Sulu."

Unbetaed, straight from the hip. :)  I love me some Bones from new Star Trek.

( Blame everything on the ex-wife... )