I couldn't make this up if I tried

[indiana_j]

We had to light a good bunch of candles to try and make the house smell less; the house smells because the vacuum cleaner almost caught fire (well, it was spewing smoke); the vacuum cleaner almost caught fire because it had just sucked up a pair of my panties.

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I once killed my housemate's vacuum lceaner by vacuuming up a pair of socks. :)