indiana_j | Hard day (Reply)

Heather's headstone was put into place without us realizing it, so we got - quite a shock on Saturday morning. (Look, it was probably a weird request for dad to ask that we be notified and be there for when it was delivered but they said 'yes' so it would have been nice to know...)

I compartmentalize really well and kept more of my reaction in than I would have as we were doing things after. It hit pretty hard last night, this feeling that it's really real and there's no waking up from this and carried through today.

I've lived with this for almost 8 months now - and, still, a part of me hadn't processed it. Still hasn't really. So I'm sitting here at Buzz, trying desperately to pull myself together before dinner with Nick and AJ, and wondering why I can't just find a cave to go and hibernate in for the next - year.

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