Snow / Once Upon A Time

[indiana_j]

A small piece on grief and the 'curse of the strong'. Spoilers for not this last episode of OUaT but the one prior to that.

The sob stuck in Snow's throat as she surveyed the nursery one more time, as she said goodbye to the ghosts of what-might-have-been and the promise of happier times. She wanted nothing more than to sit in the ashes of the tree and mourn for what she had lost; instead, she turned with hand on bow and closed the door behind her.

There were days that Snow really wished she wasn't strong enough.

The invisible lump in her throat stole her breath and hampered her speech while her eyes burned with unshed tears as the small group headed back towards the encampment. Snow wanted to scream, she wanted to sit down and cry, she wanted to sleep for a hundred years and never get up again.

But she couldn't. The world was too cruel to let her. It, and the others, needed their Queen and she needed to get her daughter and herself home. There was no time to mourn the heartbreaking loss of Lancelot or the lost chances with her daughter. Or the destruction her home had suffered as a result of the Regina's wrath.

No, she had to be strong. She had to carry on. Because that's what the strong did.

This was the curse of the strong - to know the pain. To know the grief. But to never have time or the chance to let it overtake you, to lessen it. It was a constant, bitter, companion.

Snow talked, walked, hunted, fought, lived and breathed as the waves of grief pushed higher and higher against her walls. She couldn't cry lest it alter an arrow's path, she couldn't sleep for fear Emma wouldn't be there when she woke and she couldn't scream her pain to the four winds...

Because if she started to scream she would never, ever stop.

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