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indiana_jRating: PG-13, language
Fandom: Mass Effect (3, in this case)
Subject: Not all requests for help are the same - and some are harder than others.
Notes: Many thanks to Rossi for the quick and awesome turnaround! Also, spoilers for ME3.
This can be found on AO3 here.
After Thessia, there's not a lot that Shepard can actually do; thankfully, she's got Garrus by her side to help her through it.
And help her with her fish.
It still felt weird to enter Shepard's personal rooms without asking for an invite. But after that talk on the Citadel, she'd been insistent that Garrus could come and go as he liked - she'd just given him that slow smirk and said "After all, it's not like you haven't already seen all the important bits" and, somehow, after that, they'd wound up twenty-minutes late for dinner.
Somehow.
So he didn't hesitate to enter, even though it still felt weird, because he didn't want her to think he was hesitating and ... thankfully, something stopped his meandering train of thought.
The smell of fish.
Dead ones.
"Again?" Garrus asked as he headed towards the fish tanks.
"Again," Shepard replied grimly from where she was perched.
She'd told him once that it had taken her about two days to figure out how to get the giant fish tank open because, while the controls allowed her to feed the fish and clean the tank (when she remembered and when she wasn't being shot at by half the galaxy), it didn't have a setting for 'time to scoop out the dead fish again'. Apparently Cerberus technicians had assumed that if Shepard could save the universe, than she could keep a handful of fish alive.
It had apparently taken EDI's intervention for Shepard to locate the small button on the side that would unlock the tanks and slide them forward, which left the top open enough for her to climb up and deal with the fish.
Practice didn't always mean perfect, though, and Garrus remembered quite clearly that one time she'd been sitting on the edge (much like she was now) when Joker had suddenly been forced to shift the Normandy to the left to avoid some kind of space debris. Thane had been up to speak to the Commander and, according to how the story went, had nearly ended up in the tank himself when he'd jumped up to fish her out. The sight of the soaked to the bone Commander stalking through the halls towards the helm and the faintly drenched Drell following in her wake at a more sedate pace had made up for Garrus missing the actual dunking.
Garrus' mandibles twitched. He loved that story so much - more than calibrating guns, even.
He stopped next to the spot where her leg dangled off the side and wrapped his hand around her ankle. "According to EDI, its 2:30 in the morning," he remarked, "and you should be asleep."
Shepard peered down at him with a raised eyebrow. "Just like how good little Turians should be, too?" she asked and he flinched slightly as cold water dripped on his forehead.
"This good little Turian was asleep, thank you very much," Garrus grumbled.
"In the Main Battery."
"Yes but asleep in the Main Battery."
"How do you even sleep there?"
He grinned at her. "Easy. First, I close my eyes and then ..." Garrus grunted when she kicked him lightly in the side of the head with her booted foot. "Careful! That's my pretty side."
That got a laugh, if a tired one, out of her and somehow Shepard managed to contort herself to the point where she could lean down and press a kiss to the top of his head. If he hadn't been so damned tired after Thessia, just the visual reminder of her ... flexibility would have sent his blood racing.
As it was, he gave her a soft smile that no one in their right mind would have assumed he'd been able to give. But Shepard had a disturbing habit of turning one tough son of a bitch Turian into a giant ball of fluff.
A giant ball of fluff with a spot on aim and charming good looks, of course.
"Come on, Shepard, you can clean up the tank later," he coaxed, tugging on her leg. "I don't really relish the idea of sleeping next to someone who smells of fish."
She'd opened her mouth to retort when a soft 'ping' sounded from her personal terminal. "Read that for me?" Shepard asked as she straightened with a groan. "I'll close this up while you do and then we can actually get some sleep."
Despite the fact that they were certainly together, certainly a couple and certainly doing "couple things", the fact that Shepard trusted him enough to have him look at her messages sent a thrill through Garrus. He shook his head at himself, paused to glare at the eel - which was the only living thing in the tank at the moment - who, he swore up and down, hissed at him, and headed over to the computer unit.
A quick read had him slowly straightening and he gave Shepard a funny sideways look. "Well, that's interesting," he rumbled.
At Shepard's worried look, he quickly waved his hands at her and apologized. "No, no, nothing new from Lieutenant-Bastard Kai Leng, I promise. Juuuust. Interesting. Seems you've gotten a message from an interested party who thanks you for sending information along regarding the destruction of Tiptree and they promise to send the information along to the Shadow Broker, who will, and I quote, "be very interested to hear of the impact this had on one of her close associates"."
Now on the ground, Garrus watched as Shepard tried to act ... not sneaky. Nonchalant. Innocent. And managed to fail miserably.
He stalked towards her as she coaxed the tanks back into place. Slipping his arms around her waist, Garrus leaned his chin on her shoulder and continued, "As I said, interesting."
She snorted. "There's nothing I can do to shut you up right now, is there?"
"Nope! It's interesting because, as far as I was aware, Liara was the Shadow Broker. And the only person I know who was impacted by Tiptree was Joker." She was right; he really wasn't going to let this one go. "You couldn't have just mentioned it to her yourself?"
As soon as the tank was tightly shut, Shepard turned in his arms and leaned back to get a better look at him. "What would I have said? 'Liara, I know you need something to focus on after Thessia, so hey, I just heard something about Joker that you could look into'?"
"You stopped the war between the Geth and the Quarian simply by shouting."
"Not the same thing. Liara threw herself into her work the moment we got off-world. She might not have heard what I had to say but, fuck, she'd certainly listen to information through her network."
In the blue light of the fish tank, Shepard suddenly looked even more exhausted than she had earlier. The loss of Thessia was like a yoke around her neck and Garrus knew that Joker's revelation of Tiptree had only added to the guilt and pain.
"And you only wanted to help them," he murmured.
"I can't give her back Thessia," Shepard whispered, dropping her forehead against his shoulder, "and I can't swoop in and miraculously find his father and sister alive. But I could do this."
Garrus gathered her as close as he could while still in his armor and that was the only reason he heard her say "It's not enough, it will never be enough".
That had him pulling back so he could cup her face, make her look at him. "It's what you can give them," Garrus said, caressing her cheeks with his talons, "so, by default, it is good enough." When she made a noise of protest, he started walking backwards and Shepard came with him. "Time for a direct order from your boyfriend, Commander – come to bed and sleep. Saving the universe will wait until morning."
Huffing a laugh, she circled his wrist with her hand. "Sir, yes, sir."
Away from the blue light of the tanks and hissing eels, she still looked tired. But the smile he caused chased some of the pain and shadows from her face.
It wasn't enough but it was all he had and, by default, it was good enough.
For the moment.