indiana_j | Mass Effect, more e-mail fic (Reply)

It's fun to write and, well, writing e-mail fic isn't hard. This is also located here on A03.

To: [Alenko, K]
From: [Shepard, J]
Location: Drafts Folder

SYSTEM NOTIFICATION

THIS CORRESPONDENCE WAS CREATED TWO DAYS AGO. DO YOU WISH TO DELETE OR SAVE?

[Save]

THIS CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE SAVED FOR UP TO A MONTH.

~

To: [Alenko, K]
From: [Shepard, J]
Location: Drafts Folder

SYSTEM NOTIFICATION

THIS CORRESPONDENCE WAS CREATED THREE WEEKS AGO. DO YOU WISH TO DELETE OR SAVE?

[Save]

THIS CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE SAVED FOR UP TO A MONTH.

~

To: [Alenko, K]
From: [Shepard, J]
Location: Drafts Folder

SYSTEM NOTIFICATION

THIS CORRESPONDENCE WAS CREATED FOUR WEEKS AGO. DO YOU WISH TO DELETE OR SAVE?

[Delete]

THIS CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE DELETED. DO YOU WISH TO EMPTY THE DELETED ITEMS FOLDER?

[Delete]

THE DELETED ITEMS FOLDER HAS BEEN EMPTIED AND ANY FOLDERS OR EMAILS WITHIN WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BE RETRIEVED AND MUST BE RECREATED.

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

Commander, seriously, how much ~~shit~~ stuff did you have onboard the Normandy?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

What stuff? Wasn't like the Alliance really gave me a chance to pack before grounding me.

~

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

Could have fooled me. I just helped carry a ton of boxes into your asdfkl;asefnkl;

asasfklasdfnkl; ---------------------

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

James?! Do I need to come up there?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

Seriously, Vega, I'm coming up, screw this meeting.

~

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

No need, Commander, sorry for the worry.

Your space hamster just went for my eyes. Managed to catch the little bastard before he escaped out the door, though, he's back in his cage.

And I've put a box on top, just in case.

Creepy little bastard.

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

...someone sent me Boo?

~

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

His name is Boo? What, are you five?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

Shut up, Vega, a friend named him.

So, what, did a bunch of boxes and my hamster arrive today?

~

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

Yes, ma'am!

And, yeah, looks it. I'll scan the from label, Commander, since it looks kind of encrypted.

~

*ding*

PICTURE RECEIVED

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

Oh, that was ... unexpected.

~

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

Surprised?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vega, J]

Touched, actually.

Thanks for playing gopher, Vega, appreciate it. Dinner's on me tonight after I poke through some of those boxes and see what they sent.

~

From: [Vega, J]
To: [Shepard, J]

My father raised me to help superior officers without expecting anything in return.

My mother, on the other hand, didn't raise no fool. I'll see you at dinner.

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Moreau, J]

Thanks, Joker, and pass on my thanks to EDI, too.

~

From: [Moreau, J]
to: [Shepard, J]

Trust me, I would have done anything to get that space rat off my ship.

(You're welcome. EDI says hi and that she'll try to find a secure way to send you a message or two if she can without the Alliance catching onto that whole "not a VI" thing.)

(Also, she's totally glad that creepy little space rat is off her ship, too.)

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

Just saw a few pictures from Earth, Commander. Looking a bit soft around the middle, aren't you? Are you sure you're doing enough to keep busy?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

Bite me, Vakarian, there's only so many hours I can spend in that gym. Not quite the workout one gets running from / chasing down Reapers.

Also, how'd the hell did you get pictures of me?

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

Joker.

Running from? Hah! I don't think I've run from anything that wasn't an outright explosion since I met you. I vaguely recall running headfirst towards a damned Collector base, Commander.

Also, where did you pick up that bodyguard? I've seen smaller Krogan.

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

Joker's sending you pictures of me? Why?

Vakarian, 1, Shepard, 5.

That's James Vega and he's not a bodyguard,he's my "escort".

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

I think he got tired of me asking for frequent updates on you and / or he ran out of interesting vids to send over.

What? Why do you have 5 points?

You have an "escort"? What does he do exactly? Besides run around like a gorilla. (Seriously, he could probably bench press Wrex.)

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

I'm more interesting than porn vids? Vakarian, you charmer.

You want a spreadsheet?

What does it sound like? He escorts me whenever I leave my damned room. And he's not that big.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

...damn it. I didn't mean it like that? Or, wait, I did? (Which is the right answer, Shepard?)

And yes, yes he is. Also, really? You need to have an escort to get around? That's some fucked up shit, Commander.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

Shepard?

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

Help me out here, Shepard, because answering a Turian when he thinks he's in the dog house is just considered polite.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

Shit.

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

Calm down soldier, I've been in meetings (that will never actually get anything done) regarding the Reapers for the last two days. I didn't have time to respond or even let you know, sorry about that.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

I just might have, and this is just a faint possibility and should never be mentioned again, panicked.

Should I cancel that order of "I think I fucked up but I'm not sure" flowers?
~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

I promise not to ever mention this again.

You ordered me flowers?

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

You're lying.

And - maybe?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

There's a strong possibility.

Huh. Well - this room does look a bit bleak so don't cancel them if you've already ordered them.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

I've seen you dance, Shepard, it's not like I don't have revenge material, too.

Even when I'm not there, I still make a room pretty by my presence. I'm just that damned good.

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

Seeing and having evidence for having seen it are two separate things, Garrus.

Why do I keep you around again?

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

My omni-tool sports many features. I can hack into computers, keep in touch with my comrades in arms and, oh yes my favorite thing ever, take pictures of my commanding officer getting - how did Joker say it? Oh yes - down with her bad self.

Because I'm good looking, one hell of a shot and am good with my hands?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

That's it, I'm taking that thing away from you the next time I see you.

Amen to that.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

I think I need to save this e-mail for posterity's sake.

Also, you can certainly try, Shepard. Remember, I have reach.

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

And I've got the flexibility.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

I do have a memory of that, yes.

Seriously, though, when do you think they'll let you off-world?

~

From: [Shepard, J]
To: [Vakarian, G]

I don't know, Garrus, I just don't know.

But I promise you'll be one of the first ones to hear about it when they do.

~

From: [Vakarian, G]
To: [Shepard, J]

I'll hold you to that, Shepard.