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Jan. 23rd, 2006 09:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
indiana_jTitle: Bears in the Woods
Fandom: Firefly (Kaylee, Wash)
Characters: Mal, Kaylee, Wash, Zoe, Jayne
Prompt: 077. What?
Word Count: 876
Rating: PG
Summary: You never want to ask Wash and Kaylee a question when they're bored. The results will amuse the rest of the crew for hours.
Author's Notes: The characters and world are, sadly, not mind.
"Hurry it up or we're leavin' without you!" Mal bellowed, taking the steps down to the cargo bay two at a time. They were about to start running late on the drop off time and he’d make true on his threat. Being late meant loosing a profit and that wasn’t something he was willing to do.
Besides, the goods stunk up the place worse than the last time Jayne attempted to cook, and he wanted them off his ship as fast as possible.
"Who, exactly, are you threatening to leave behind, sir?" Zoe asked, amused. The only people who normally went on the jobs were the two of them and Jayne.
"Jayne, though it'd be nice to have the rest of them to see us off."
"You want a farwell party, Cap'n?" Kaylee teased from above, leaning haphazardly over the railing.
"Nothin' fancy, maybe some drinks and music. A band, maybe."
"Depending on where our next stop is, Mal, we might even be able to get you those little umbrellas." Wash popped up next to Kaylee and blew his wife a kiss. "Stay safe, bao-bei."
Zoe returned his smile. "As safe as we can."
"Oh, like that's reass--ow! Mal, Kaylee's hitting me!"
Mal raised an eyebrow at his mechanic. "Kaylee?"
"Yes, cap'n?"
"Do it again."
"Hey...ow!"
A noise caught his attention and he swung around, mouth open to berate Jayne for nearly making them late. Fortunately for the man in question, it stayed like that for a second as Mal struggled to recapture his lecture.
"What?" Jayne barked, his voice gruff but muffled.
That would be due to the large scarf wrapped around his head and the fact that his winter hat was pulled securely down and tucked under his chin. In fact, he was dressed like he expected to walk into a gorram blizzard, not an inch of skin was showing.
Finally, Mal found his voice. "Jayne?"
Sort of.
"Yeah?"
"...we ain't 'bout to be walkin' into another town that you did someone wrong by, are we?"
"Hey! I ain’t never been here, don't go assuming I've done somethin' wrong on every planet we touch down in."
Zoe snickered.
"Then what in the gorram 'verse is up with the outfit?"
There was a shrug or, at least, Mal thought there was one, the heavy jacket was making it hard to tell. "You didn't know? Thought you would since you picked the drop off point. Drop bears."
There was a strangled noise from above him and he didn't bother to turn around. In fact, he didn’t even let his eyes move from Jayne. "Drop bears."
"Drop bears, Mal. We're goin' inta heavily wooded area, see, and apparently these wild little devils like to jump--" Jayne made a pouncing gesture to emphasize his tale. "--down on you and they can be real vicious and mean like."
This bared repeating. "So you're sayin' that you're all gussied up to ward off attacks from...drop bears?"
"Yup."
"Who told you about them?" As if he already didn't know.
"Wash."
Of course.
There was another strangled noise, as if someone were stuffing their hands into their mouth to keep from laughing.
"And you believed him?" Wash must have told one hell of a story to get Jayne this good.
"Well, o' course not," Jayne snorted, sounding indignant. "I went and check with little Kaylee."
Mal's eyebrows rose as a giggle escaped from the walk-way, higher in pitch before a quick shushing noise was heard. Wonder who that was, he thought wryly. "And Kaylee reassured you 'bout these drop bears?"
"Not only that but she done went and got me some drop bear repellant! Or, well, made." It took him a second to fish out a small aerosol can and on the front, in Kaylee's handwriting, it read 'Drop Bear Repellant'.
Will wonders never cease?
He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Okay, enough dilly dallyin', we've got a cargo to deliver. Let's get goin' so we can be back in time for supper."
Zoe looked impassive but he knew her well enough to see the laughter in her eyes and the faint quirk of a smile.
As they were leaving, Jayne sidled up closer. "You want me to spray some of this on you? Supposed ta keep them off of ya for at least four hours. Maybe more, smells like it’s a strong batch."
Mal wrinkled his noise as he got a good sniff of the other man. That was almost as bad smelling as their cargo. "Uh, I'll pass, thanks."
"They're vicious, Mal, they even sometimes eat people."
"I think I'll be safe enough." Safer without that ai ya stuff on, that was for sure.
As Jayne ambled out, calling out to Zoe to see if she wanted to ward herself real good, Mal paused and glanced back, shaking his head. Wash and Kaylee had collapsed on each other, looking like they were laughing themselves sick, both as red in the face as his hair.
They’d have a talk with them about this when they all got back about playing pranks on the crew.
In the meantime, he'd see how far he could pull Jayne's leg on this.
'Drop bears,' he thought, snorting in amused laughter under his breath.
Fandom: Firefly (Kaylee, Wash)
Characters: Mal, Kaylee, Wash, Zoe, Jayne
Prompt: 077. What?
Word Count: 876
Rating: PG
Summary: You never want to ask Wash and Kaylee a question when they're bored. The results will amuse the rest of the crew for hours.
Author's Notes: The characters and world are, sadly, not mind.
"Hurry it up or we're leavin' without you!" Mal bellowed, taking the steps down to the cargo bay two at a time. They were about to start running late on the drop off time and he’d make true on his threat. Being late meant loosing a profit and that wasn’t something he was willing to do.
Besides, the goods stunk up the place worse than the last time Jayne attempted to cook, and he wanted them off his ship as fast as possible.
"Who, exactly, are you threatening to leave behind, sir?" Zoe asked, amused. The only people who normally went on the jobs were the two of them and Jayne.
"Jayne, though it'd be nice to have the rest of them to see us off."
"You want a farwell party, Cap'n?" Kaylee teased from above, leaning haphazardly over the railing.
"Nothin' fancy, maybe some drinks and music. A band, maybe."
"Depending on where our next stop is, Mal, we might even be able to get you those little umbrellas." Wash popped up next to Kaylee and blew his wife a kiss. "Stay safe, bao-bei."
Zoe returned his smile. "As safe as we can."
"Oh, like that's reass--ow! Mal, Kaylee's hitting me!"
Mal raised an eyebrow at his mechanic. "Kaylee?"
"Yes, cap'n?"
"Do it again."
"Hey...ow!"
A noise caught his attention and he swung around, mouth open to berate Jayne for nearly making them late. Fortunately for the man in question, it stayed like that for a second as Mal struggled to recapture his lecture.
"What?" Jayne barked, his voice gruff but muffled.
That would be due to the large scarf wrapped around his head and the fact that his winter hat was pulled securely down and tucked under his chin. In fact, he was dressed like he expected to walk into a gorram blizzard, not an inch of skin was showing.
Finally, Mal found his voice. "Jayne?"
Sort of.
"Yeah?"
"...we ain't 'bout to be walkin' into another town that you did someone wrong by, are we?"
"Hey! I ain’t never been here, don't go assuming I've done somethin' wrong on every planet we touch down in."
Zoe snickered.
"Then what in the gorram 'verse is up with the outfit?"
There was a shrug or, at least, Mal thought there was one, the heavy jacket was making it hard to tell. "You didn't know? Thought you would since you picked the drop off point. Drop bears."
There was a strangled noise from above him and he didn't bother to turn around. In fact, he didn’t even let his eyes move from Jayne. "Drop bears."
"Drop bears, Mal. We're goin' inta heavily wooded area, see, and apparently these wild little devils like to jump--" Jayne made a pouncing gesture to emphasize his tale. "--down on you and they can be real vicious and mean like."
This bared repeating. "So you're sayin' that you're all gussied up to ward off attacks from...drop bears?"
"Yup."
"Who told you about them?" As if he already didn't know.
"Wash."
Of course.
There was another strangled noise, as if someone were stuffing their hands into their mouth to keep from laughing.
"And you believed him?" Wash must have told one hell of a story to get Jayne this good.
"Well, o' course not," Jayne snorted, sounding indignant. "I went and check with little Kaylee."
Mal's eyebrows rose as a giggle escaped from the walk-way, higher in pitch before a quick shushing noise was heard. Wonder who that was, he thought wryly. "And Kaylee reassured you 'bout these drop bears?"
"Not only that but she done went and got me some drop bear repellant! Or, well, made." It took him a second to fish out a small aerosol can and on the front, in Kaylee's handwriting, it read 'Drop Bear Repellant'.
Will wonders never cease?
He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Okay, enough dilly dallyin', we've got a cargo to deliver. Let's get goin' so we can be back in time for supper."
Zoe looked impassive but he knew her well enough to see the laughter in her eyes and the faint quirk of a smile.
As they were leaving, Jayne sidled up closer. "You want me to spray some of this on you? Supposed ta keep them off of ya for at least four hours. Maybe more, smells like it’s a strong batch."
Mal wrinkled his noise as he got a good sniff of the other man. That was almost as bad smelling as their cargo. "Uh, I'll pass, thanks."
"They're vicious, Mal, they even sometimes eat people."
"I think I'll be safe enough." Safer without that ai ya stuff on, that was for sure.
As Jayne ambled out, calling out to Zoe to see if she wanted to ward herself real good, Mal paused and glanced back, shaking his head. Wash and Kaylee had collapsed on each other, looking like they were laughing themselves sick, both as red in the face as his hair.
They’d have a talk with them about this when they all got back about playing pranks on the crew.
In the meantime, he'd see how far he could pull Jayne's leg on this.
'Drop bears,' he thought, snorting in amused laughter under his breath.