Dad-isms

I normally post these on FB but don't feel like it tonight:

Me, texting dad: "Hey, I'm at the doctor's getting tested for Lyme's.  Don't know how late I'll be."
Dad, texting back: "Have them test 4 lycanthropy"

(Later, I said "What, you could spell out lycanthropy, correctly, but not the word 'for'?")

Dad: "So, *whispers* don't tell your mom, but I went out and got chocolate and flowers.  It's Valentine's Day tomorrow."
Me:  "Aww."
Dad: *still whispering* "Also, I'd be kind of killed if I didn't."