Hard day

[indiana_j]

Heather's headstone was put into place without us realizing it, so we got - quite a shock on Saturday morning. (Look, it was probably a weird request for dad to ask that we be notified and be there for when it was delivered but they said 'yes' so it would have been nice to know...)

I compartmentalize really well and kept more of my reaction in than I would have as we were doing things after. It hit pretty hard last night, this feeling that it's really real and there's no waking up from this and carried through today.

I've lived with this for almost 8 months now - and, still, a part of me hadn't processed it. Still hasn't really. So I'm sitting here at Buzz, trying desperately to pull myself together before dinner with Nick and AJ, and wondering why I can't just find a cave to go and hibernate in for the next - year.

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Comments

[indiana-j.livejournal.com]

That actually makes me feel a lot better (and I mentioned that to my folks, so it helped them, too, I think). Marissa mentioned that once and, actually, I really like the idea of it.

*sigh* I mean, if they'd been put off, they could have hedged or said no, right? So what's the use in saying yes only to not follow through?

[starfishumd.livejournal.com]

It's just likely that a mistake happened - the request wasn't written down where the person who ordered the headstone would see in time. Still, I can understand the shock. <3